TWSS: That’s What Samantha Said
Or at least, what she would have said.
Charlotte, honey, I’m sorry but if I'm going to spend three hours watching a boy finger keys, it better end with him fingering me.
Honey, the only acceptable thing to be riding while you die is a man.
Funerals? No thank you. If I'm going to be gushing liquid in public I’d rather it be from my pussy.
Cremating big? Last night my doorman creamed me!
I fucked a dead guy once. What? I didn't know he was dead!
Why would I get fillers when I can't even find a man to fill me?
[Carrie sobbing telling the story at brunch]
[There's a lull]
Samantha: Was he. Ya know. [Slowly sticking up her index finger]Honey, no one can be horny in Ohio. When you’re there sex just says, ‘Oh bye, oh.”
Honey, at least he died wet.
The last time I couldn't reach my phone somewhere wet, it was stuck up my puss.
Big went down in the shower? Honey, I've been there!
He, she, they; who cares about pronouns as long as they’re a pro when they go down.
Honorable mention:
